"Mark is capable of doing this, he is just disinterested in it."
and the proverbial
"He is smart enough, just not motivated enough."
Maybe I am too independent, or maybe I am selfish and shallow, either may be true but I do know I work way better when I am challenged and interested in the subject matter. This fact about myself has manifested itself in two ways this semester.
1. My paintings at the beginning of the semester were complete crap. I just could not get the hang of it, all this mushy paint on paper. It was the first time I can remember that I was truly lost in the art world. I can usually bullshit my way through some art stuff relying on innate abilities to see me through, but with painting bullshit doesn't work, and bullshit looks just like it's name on canvas. For our last painting we got to make our own still life's, and viola my painting turned out decent! I just needed the change in subject matter, and it made all the difference. While DaVinci, Michelangelo, or Ofili (Virgin Mary covered in dung) have nothing to fear from me, I was pleased by the result.2. I need a challenge. Without it I think what is the point? I need to pushed, and pushed further until I get pissed, and then push again. Some of my best work was done under duress, and were probably over extensions of my resources, but they turned out great. Take my video "A Prison Fairy Tale" I decided to make a video that was 8 minutes long, that was synched, had meaning and involved a lot of different clips. Also I did this video two days before it was due. I could have made something simple, done something that would have garnered a good grade but was uninspired, and I would not have been satisfied with it. This has been my downfall in the class that this blog is for. I basically had already had all the projects in Time Studio and CPS and the challenge had gone out of these projects for me. I was not going to turn in something I did not pour myself into wholeheartedly. It would not feel right.
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